Blogging instead of Arguing

May 10, 2017

Have you ever  been in a situation where you want to confront the person but then don’t in light of not trying to deal with an argument?

I wanted to write it out here, and maybe it will save me an argument.

My husband went to another friends wedding for like 6 days, leaving yesterday. This is the second friends wedding of his that I did not go to. Now, keep in mind that we live across the country and have a 2 year old and buying plane tickets for all of us, taking time off from work, days on vacation, hotel rooms, traveling time, etc. would probably be too much. So I mean I totally get it – and I know what it’s like when he is with his friends – drinking, drinking, drinking and me watching our daughter. It most likely would not be very fun.

My issue is, I kind of feel left out. I know its kind of silly to feel like this since I was the one who chose not to go and such, but it’s almost like I am not a part of his “friends” lives. At both weddings, he had way more fun if I was not there. Again, I know how silly I sound, but that is how I feel. I just feel left out, and like he is totally okay with it because it allows him to be basically free with no responsibilities. And then I am at home, taking care of our daughter, the house, the dog, the cat, all of the responsibilities, while he is out having a great time, for many days.

I guess it is better to write it out, than fight it out. I have a lot of stress with him being gone and having to deal with everything, so to add a fighting conversation on top of it, really not worth it.

Just frustrating.

Does this happen to normal people and couples? Or is this way out of the ballpark here? I know our situation is not totally normal… but it would be nice to see any comments!

Ugh.

10 Comments

  • Loftspeaker1

    May 10, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Perhaps you need a break for some alone time. I believe in great communication between couples and perhaps you should gently and respectfully let your husband know how you feel.
    Work together as a team..perhaps he can watch your little girl for some time while you get to have some time alone.
    It is not necessary to have an argument to express how you feel. Sort out your feelings and find out what is really bothering you. Then express it gently and at the right time to your husband.
    http://www.loftforum.wordpress.com

    1. teach.workout.love

      May 10, 2017 at 12:21 pm

      You are so right

    2. teach.workout.love

      May 10, 2017 at 12:21 pm

      I just know it would be a fight :/ unfortunately.

  • roseelaineblog

    May 11, 2017 at 1:38 am

    Parenting is a joint responsibility and sometimes we can’t always do what we want to do because of that responsibility. Personally I would not be happy , I could accept 3 days away for a really special friend but 6 no way. He would have had to climb over me to get to the door 😉

    1. teach.workout.love

      May 11, 2017 at 6:54 am

      Lol. I agree. It’s a lot. Like a lot. But the arguing already began. I can never keep in my smart ass comments 😞

      1. roseelaineblog

        May 11, 2017 at 10:28 am

        He will rogue back because he feels guilty? Maybe 😉

        1. teach.workout.love

          May 11, 2017 at 1:58 pm

          Maybe

  • Darin Johnston

    May 15, 2017 at 9:11 am

    Speaking as a husband, what the heck? When we had two year olds, there’s no way I’d be gone that long, period. Someone said three days, I’d be hard pressed to be gone that long when my daughters were that age. So, yes, writing it out vs. fighting it out is probably the best answer at this point.

    Did he offer a “I’ll be happy to…..” kind of plan when he gets back? Maybe that’s in order too! 🙂 That always worked for me when school got in the way!

    1. teach.workout.love

      May 15, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Nope.

    2. teach.workout.love

      May 15, 2017 at 3:09 pm

      Maybe I make it too easy

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