There are so many things as a mom that just wear us out. From little sleep to early mornings. We are constantly going at all times during the day to keep kids happy and fed. It gets daunting. Because it is so daunting, I personally, find myself complaining a lot. Do you complain a lot since becoming a mom? It can be hard not to when you feel like you do it all, laundry, dishes, cleaning, and EVERYTHING with the kids.
What does complaining do to us though? Does it help the situation? Does it really help take some load off? Not usually. Yes, we should always ask for help when we need it, but just complaining does not help. Actually, complaining can actually damage our mental health by making us feel helpless. Complaining makes us live in a very negative space where we are unable to see that we have control. We see everything as a chore, even playing and taking care of our kids. Do you want to live that way? Do you want to live day to day where you’re constantly negative? I definitely do not. The negativity also hurts our relationships, our friendships, our marriage. So, what do we do about it and how can not complaining help our mood?
Change the Way You Think
We need to change the way we think. Turn around your complaints and remember the good of everything. Why do you take care of everything? What would happen if you didn’t do the laundry or dishes? You’d survive and your kids would survive. So maybe don’t take it to seriously.
What would happen if you weren’t there for your kids? Would you want that? I definitely wouldn’t. I complain about how tiring it is being a stay at home mom. I complain about how tiring it is taking care of two kids, keeping them alive, all while having little sleep for myself. I could change it if I really wanted to. I could go to work and put them in childcare. I remind myself that I do not really want that for them or myself. So, I need to stop complaining and remember why I’m doing this. I want to raise my kids and I want to be there for them. It can be tiring but it is exactly where I want to be.
Allow yourself a chance to vent.
It is necessary to vent. It is necessary to have an outlet. Vent, but do not be accusatory if you do so to your spouse. I find it’s best to vent in writing, journaling, because then if there is any anger or resentment that boils up towards my spouse I can just write it down and let it go. This will help without hurting him with painful accusations that are just overblown with emotion.
Leave the Judgment Behind
Remember that just because others do things differently they are not necessarily wrong. Do not be judgmental over others for doing things in a way that is not like you would do.
Remember what you’re grateful for. Everyday think of one thing that makes you happy and grateful. Doing so reminds you that no matter how bad you think you have it, there’s something good.
Accept How Much Control You Have
Accept when something cannot be fixed or fix it when it can. If you can change a situation then do so. If you cannot, stop complaining. If the situation cannot be changed complaining just hurts you. That negativity makes you unhappy.
I know there are so many other factors in happiness. I know that at times it really isn’t a choice but when it comes to simply complaining or not, it is a choice. Choose not to complain. Remember you’re tired of the negativity in your life and remember if you can change it, do so. If you cannot then just be happy with where you are.
Live in the moment.
About the Author
Sarah with Sarah’s Sage Advice
Sarah is a work from home mom of two beautiful kids, a girl, Gwenie, and boy, Jacob. She loves to write and research and to create businesses. Sarah’s Sage Advice is a lifestyle blog with topics about family, kids, parenting, marriage, and social issues. Sarah has an MBA in Entrepreneurship from Southern New Hampshire University and loves to read, write, and play with her kids in her spare time.
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