Mental HealthSelf-Care

Complaining: How to Stop Living in Negativity

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There are so many things as a mom that just wear us out. From little sleep to early mornings. We are constantly going at all times during the day to keep kids happy and fed. It gets daunting. Because it is so daunting, I personally, find myself complaining a lot. Do you complain a lot since becoming a mom? It can be hard not to when you feel like you do it all, laundry, dishes, cleaning, and EVERYTHING with the kids.


What does complaining do to us though? Does it help the situation? Does it really help take some load off? Not usually. Yes, we should always ask for help when we need it, but just complaining does not help. Actually, complaining can actually damage our mental health by making us feel helpless. Complaining makes us live in a very negative space where we are unable to see that we have control. We see everything as a chore, even playing and taking care of our kids. Do you want to live that way? Do you want to live day to day where you’re constantly negative? I definitely do not. The negativity also hurts our relationships, our friendships, our marriage. So, what do we do about it and how can not complaining help our mood?


Change the Way You Think


We need to change the way we think. Turn around your complaints and remember the good of everything. Why do you take care of everything? What would happen if you didn’t do the laundry or dishes? You’d survive and your kids would survive. So maybe don’t take it to seriously.


What would happen if you weren’t there for your kids? Would you want that? I definitely wouldn’t. I complain about how tiring it is being a stay at home mom. I complain about how tiring it is taking care of two kids, keeping them alive, all while having little sleep for myself. I could change it if I really wanted to. I could go to work and put them in childcare. I remind myself that I do not really want that for them or myself. So, I need to stop complaining and remember why I’m doing this. I want to raise my kids and I want to be there for them. It can be tiring but it is exactly where I want to be.


Allow yourself a chance to vent.


It is necessary to vent. It is necessary to have an outlet. Vent, but do not be accusatory if you do so to your spouse. I find it’s best to vent in writing, journaling, because then if there is any anger or resentment that boils up towards my spouse I can just write it down and let it go. This will help without hurting him with painful accusations that are just overblown with emotion.


Leave the Judgment Behind


Remember that just because others do things differently they are not necessarily wrong. Do not be judgmental over others for doing things in a way that is not like you would do.



Be Grateful


Remember what you’re grateful for. Everyday think of one thing that makes you happy and grateful. Doing so reminds you that no matter how bad you think you have it, there’s something good.


Accept How Much Control You Have


Accept when something cannot be fixed or fix it when it can. If you can change a situation then do so. If you cannot, stop complaining. If the situation cannot be changed complaining just hurts you. That negativity makes you unhappy.


Choose happiness.


I know there are so many other factors in happiness. I know that at times it really isn’t a choice but when it comes to simply complaining or not, it is a choice. Choose not to complain. Remember you’re tired of the negativity in your life and remember if you can change it, do so. If you cannot then just be happy with where you are.


Live in the moment.





About the Author

Sarah with Sarah’s Sage Advice

guest blogger

Sarah is a work from home mom of two beautiful kids, a girl, Gwenie, and boy, Jacob. She loves to write and research and to create businesses. Sarah’s Sage Advice is a lifestyle blog with topics about family, kids, parenting, marriage, and social issues. Sarah has an MBA in Entrepreneurship from Southern New Hampshire University and loves to read, write, and play with her kids in her spare time.


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TWL Working Mom

Jennifer is the Owner of TWL and Co-Owner of a Influencer Facebook Group Influential Mamas.  Along with blogging + freelance writing and selling Zyia Activewear, she is a mom, army wife and full-time teacher. Jennifer lives in Washington State and is a born + raised New Yorker. In her spare time, she loves traveling, yoga, the beach, writing, listening to books and drinking coffee.

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  1. Great reminders. I try to do like you mentioned about shifting my perspective when I feel like complaining about motherly duties. I remember myself before kids and how badly I wanted them. I imagine how it would feel at this time if I were childless. It is just a simple way for me to appreciate my family and remember how very wanted my kids are, even if it is a lot of work!

    1. This is so true. It is important to remember to appreciate what you have and how much your life is better with your children and family, etc.

  2. I choose happiness. The older I get life is easier to accept. I have more focus. I think when you change the way you think and think better your lifestyle improves.

  3. i think reminding yourself to be grateful that you have things to complain over, is a great way to curb frustration. you can complain about the laundry, but be thankful you have a washing machine and electricity to use for it

    1. You’re so right with that ! Sometimes I know it’s hard for people to think like that but it’s important so that way you’re not always feel let down

  4. When sometimes I enter in that negativity, I think of so many people in this world who are not even as lucky as what I may be! I try to plan the ways to help people, mark the goals, and with their accomplishment, comes the happiness back.

    1. That’s really a great way to think about it for sure! I love planning ways to help people. It feels nice to do that

  5. Oh gosh I wish more people would take this advice …. my mum and dad lol I love them but they can be negative about life at times lol

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