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Dear Working Mama, I See You

Every day in February, we are celebrating the 28 Days of Mom Love with bloggers across the globe. Make sure to come back and check out our posts every day this month!


About the Author

Hi, I’m Keenie! I live in Wisconsin with my husband, 2 fur babies, and 13 month old son named Beckett. I am a full time teacher and started blogging for a little bit of me time– I’m still really struggling for work-life balance, as you will see. I am a big fan of dry shampoo (helloooo #momlife), my son’s giggles, and being outside. I would love for you to come visit at mybekettlist.com  See you there!

 

Dear Working Mama,

 

I see you when your alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. in hopes to get an hour of peace-an hour to yourself- before the day begins. I see you 15 minutes later when the baby wakes up and wants to be cuddled and your cup of coffee set aside, that will have to wait for now. I know the guilt you feel as part of you wishes the baby would have slept for just 30 more minuets, because you know these baby snuggles are fleeting and he won’t want them for much longer. You cherish his sweet baby fingers exploring your face, but mourn your hot cup of coffee and moments of silence. I see you momma, as the rest of the day begins too quickly and you race around trying to make sure you’re ready and he’s ready and shouting reminders to your husband as you fly out the door. You told your baby you loved him right? Before you left? You’re almost positive you did… how could you have forgotten!? I see the small congratulatory smile you give yourself when you actually get to work 15 minutes early, only to diminish quickly when you realize everyone.else.is.already.here. How does everyone else have their life this much together? you wonder. Other thoughts of self doubt are pushed aside for now, as people are waiting to talk to you before your computer even starts.

I see you momma, when you tune out of conversations at work because you are making a mental to-do list of everything you have to do at home. I know you spend the whole end of day meeting waiting for it to be over and secretly trying to pack up all of your things without anyone noticing.I see you on the other days too. When you’re so busy at work and needed by so many that at the end of the day, you haven’t really thought about your baby at all. You feel like monster mom of the year for that one. It feels like you don’t really have a lot of friends anymore, and you know you should really reach out to your coworkers more. Everyone is meeting up at 6:00 tonight, but that’s just about your baby’s bedtime and your still breastfeeding and that’s the only way he’ll fall asleep. There’s a few people getting together right after work on Friday!… but your baby has to be picked up by 4:00 from daycare, your husband already takes the baby early one day a week  so you can get to that workout class, your mom already babysits twice a week to help cut down on daycare costs… and your afraid that pretty soon people are going to start thinking you are taking advantage of them. You think about how you should get your kid signed up for some activities- maybe you can meet mom friends that way. But when will those fit in?Making friends?That will have to wait for now.

(Throw back to the days of maternity leave)

 

I see you momma, when you get home work and only have two hours with your son until he goes to bed. It is a constant worry that one day he will grow a stronger attachment to his daycare providers than he has with you. I know you’re tired, and it would be really nice to just veg out for a few minutes without anyone needing you. But those two hours go quick. Between making dinner for you baby and bedtime routines, you enjoy as many snuggles as you can. Maybe you should be doing some developmental activities with him after work? Is that a thing? Do people do that? You remind yourself to set up a Pinterest Board to look into that.

I see you at 7:00 PM momma, when your baby is finally asleep after multiple attempts. You spend some time trying to Google an answer that will make your kid a better sleeper. Maybe you need to change his bedtime routine? Should he be taking probiotics? You throw up a quick prayer that he will sleep through the night. It is too late now to try and make something for dinner, so you and your husband agree to -once again- just do your own things and you both find something quick to grab out of the refrigerator. You brought work home to do, but your husband is complaining that the two of you literally haven’t talked all day. You know he’s right. You vow to be more present in your marriage… starting tomorrow. The last hour of your day today you just want to spend some time doing nothing-After you make lunches for tomorrow, repack your work bag with all the stuff you didn’t touch, find the sweater that’s hopefully buried in the mountain of laundry to have to put away, and shower of course. Having your shit together? That will have to wait for now.

I see you momma, as you lay in bed with your growing to-do list in your head. Is there someway you can be financially contributing to your household but not being at work all day? Doubtful… but add searching for that to your to do list. You say of prayer of thanks before bed because being this boy’s mom is your greatest blessing. But its also really really hard, especially when you’re trying to figure out how to give 100% of yourself in two different places. I see you momma, because I am you. Hang in there.

 

xoxo

 

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TWL Working Mom

Jennifer is the Owner of TWL Working Moms and Co-Owner of Influential Mamas.  Along with blogging + freelance writing, she is a mom, army wife and full-time teacher. Jennifer lives in Washington State and is a born + raised New Yorker. In her spare time, she loves traveling, yoga, the beach, writing, listening to books and drinking coffee.

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