You know how when you dreamed of having kid of your own one day? You imagined it to have home cooked breakfasts while playing peacefully together, or maybe them playing independently while you did your adult thing? Their clothes always neatly put together and easy to pull out for the day. You only purchased educational and respected as they played with them then put them away. There were infinitely more magical moments than moments leaving you wanting to run and hide.
Then you had kids and it was not anything like that at all.
If you are anything like I used to be from the moment I had my first daughter I was given a crash course in how much I could let pile up before I ever got around to doing it. Laundry piles became our new couch accent pieces. Dishes stacked to the sky. Toynadoes made my house a disaster zone. Beneath those toys was where old food, missing sippy cups, and that missing glove went to die.
I was never caught up.
My weekends were a time for never ending laundry, grocery shopping, and reorganizing the toys for the 50th time. Or I completely neglected everything to spend time with my kids I had hardly seen due to my work week schedule. As horrible as this is to admit though, going to work was the easy part of my days. Going home to manage the clutter and chaos was the hard part for me.
I felt like I was drowning. My home embarrassed me.
Friends never came over and I did not take photos unless carefully staged to hide the mess. I sabotaged any chances of a social life because I was embarrassed and ashamed. Plus, I was too busy shifting my clutter around the house to go anywhere.
It wasn’t a good time of my life. The worst part was watching my kids grow up and feeling like I was missing it all. Like I was spending all of my time just trying to get by. When you’re just trying to get by it’s a pretty low feeling because it’s like nothing you do or accomplish is ever good enough, and when it’s your mom jobs that’s just a whole new level of guilt and shame.
I learned a really cool lesson though and that is that I wasn’t failing at being a mom, and I was cut our for a joyful motherhood.
I just wasn’t cut out for managing a house full of clutter. So I let it all go and learned first hand exactly how decluttering gives you back your motherhood.
- You have more time. Life is no longer a game of “catch up”. You have what you need, and love what you have and you discover that time is your most valuable asset as a mother and you are no longer willing to waste it on organizing and then reorganizing all those things in your home any more.
- You have more energy. The struggle bus is no longer your main mode of transportation and you discover quickly that you DO in fact have a ton of energy to spend on things that actually matter to you – like being present with your kids. The problem isn’t lack of energy. The problem is spending that energy on the wrong things.
- You have quality time, with the people you love most. I used to tell myself that my house could stay messy. I was choosing to spend time with my kids instead of clean. But the honest truth is, I wasn’t able to be present with them. All I could see around me were the unfinished tasks, laundry piles, and messes for days. After I decluttered my home I was able to have a house that was clean and orderly AND spend time with my kids with ease.
- My home became a haven. I had a place for me to retreat and recover at the end of a long day instead of a place that I dreaded going to. It became a place of connection, enjoyment and peace for my family.
- My home became a haven for others as well. I willingly and graciously welcome people into my home now, at the drop of a hat, without hesitation and love to be accommodating and make them feel at ease in our home.
Yes, I know the work of decluttering your home is daunting, especially when you are raising young children. But do you know what is harder? Doing nothing to change the overwhelm you are experiencing over trying to manage all the clutter. Which is why I created The Purgeathon. A free decluttering challenged designed by a mom who has decluttered her entire home, and kept it decluttered for the past five years, for a mom wanting to do the same and find the same relief and benefits as listed above. You can totally do this, mama. I promise you once you start the process and feel the relief you won’t want to stop and you will be SO happy you chose to reclaim your motherhood.
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