It seems when you become pregnant, you are bombarded with advice, stories, opinions, etc. Most of those remarks come from people that mean well but they can still be unwanted all the same. I have had two full-term pregnancies and one miscarriage so I have my fair share of pregnancy advice for first-time or seasoned moms. But, what I want you to know most of all is why you need to ignore pregnancy expectations.
What are YOUR Pregnancy Expectations?
The Number of Kids You Expect to Have
I’ve met women who loved being pregnant and I thought I would feel the same way. This, however, is not the case. Before my first pregnancy, my husband and I thought we would have four kids. After my first was born, I told him I didn’t want to do this four times and three kids would be plenty. Then after my second was born, I was adamant about not having any more kids. (I eventually changed my mind and we tried for a third and that’s when I had my miscarriage.) But my point is, I do not enjoy being pregnant and that is okay.
You may expect to become pregnant after trying for a couple of months. But after a year of trying, you see your doctor and discuss fertility treatments. Those treatments cost a lot of money that you didn’t plan on spending but you do it because you want your own child. That’s okay.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I expected, or rather hoped, to not have morning sickness. My mom didn’t have any morning sickness and so I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t either. That didn’t happen. I was sick the WHOLE pregnancy, all day long and it was significantly worse in the evenings. My expectations were met, and that’s okay.
Your Pregnancy Diet
During your pregnancy, you may expect that you are going to eat extremely healthy every meal of the day. But because of your morning sickness, those foods aren’t always appetizing to you. Eating potato chips or deli meat is though and that’s okay.
Labor and Delivery
You may expect to give birth to your baby without an epidural. But after being in active labor for 24 hours, you decide you NEED an epidural so you can get some rest and relax before your baby is actually born. That’s okay.
Maybe you hire a midwife because you expect you will have a home birth. As the pregnancy goes on, you discover you have a high-risk pregnancy and must have a C-section to ensure the safety of you both. That’s okay.
Perhaps you expect to deliver your baby at a hospital but you don’t make it there in time. Your baby decides to make their entrance on your living room floor. (This happened to me with my second child.) That’s okay.
After getting a positive pregnancy test you and your husband are overjoyed! You start taking your prenatal vitamins and schedule your first prenatal appointment. You expect this pregnancy will be just fine. Then one morning you have a miscarriage. It will be a hard, sad day and that’s okay.
Drop ALL Your Pregnancy Expectations!
I could go on and on about how you expect your pregnancy will be like your mother’s or your best friend’s pregnancy. Some similar things may happen. Other things, whether good or bad, may not happen. Pregnancy is different for every woman on the planet. And guess what? Each pregnancy YOU have will be different from YOUR other pregnancies.
So, the best piece of advice I can give you is to drop any pregnancy expectations you have, whether they are good or bad, and embrace your pregnancy journey for how it is.
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