Being a mom comes with so many trials and challenges, but it comes with some pretty phenomenal perks too. Before becoming a mom I was always pretty chill (Read: “Lazy”). I was never a go-out-and-do-something person. My idea of a good time was chilling at home playing games or watching Netflix. And don’t get me wrong, there is still PLENTY of all that — if you count watching Paw Patrol and running around the house. But being a mom has changed how I look at a lot of things, how I look at my relationships and how I look at myself.
So my Mom Love post is about how being a mom makes me see the world.
How I Look At Myself
I’ve got postpartum depression, and though that really sucks, it has helped me evaluate the important things in my life, and made me cherish those things. I have a fantastic 21 month old, she’s clever, funny, and has the energy of someone who just chugged like… 5 energy drinks. Even though PPD has been hard, and sometimes I don’t have the energy to buck up and get out of bed, I do it for her. She pulls me out of the deepest holes with one smile. A single kiss from her makes me feel like I can carry the world.
She makes me see myself as someone more capable, even though it feels like when the world looks at me I’m floundering. My daughter makes me believe in myself. I’d never thought I could be anything more than a minimum-wage employee working a thankless retail job. She makes me feel like I can do things, accomplish things. So I’m starting to dream. One day I’ll be successful, run my own business, be my own boss.
How I Look At My Time
In the beginning it was definitely more difficult to manage my time. After all, a baby is a huge life changer. As time went on I learned to adapt. I needed to learn to prioritize what was most important to me. Top of the list is spending time with and taking care of my daughter of course; but I learned that I needed to put myself up there too. Before I had her I never really thought of myself as a priority, and would always bend over backwards for other people, doing things that I didn’t necessarily want to do. Now that my free time is a bit more limited I’ve been able to stick to doing things that I want to do. I began pursuing hobbies that I ‘never had time’ for before her.
How I Look At My Relationships
I am the only one out of my friends with kids, so other than my cousin and sister who had babies this year, I don’t have any friends in the same boat. You really learn who’s sticking with you after you have kids. The friends who have no kids, but will still at least pretend to be excited when you tell them “Oh my god, my kid did the FUNNIEST thing yesterday” are the keepers. The friends that you talk to that can’t seem to wait to change the topic? Not so much. Friendship is strange that way, it can be a bit superficial, but there are those keepers who are going to be with you until you’re all old and look like shar-pei puppies.
My relationship with my husband has become so strong. Though there were definitely some trying times when we were both sleep deprived, we’ve come out stronger and more determined. We’ve started making time for dates, we’ve started working on a personal project that we’ve been talking about for at least 4 years, and we have both been cheering each other on in trying to establish new good habits.
My relationship with my mom has really blossomed after parenthood. I feel like no one that’s experienced being a parent will ever know just how much their mom loves them. My mom and I started spending a lot more time together, and she opened up about a lot of things from when my siblings and I were kids. My step-dad has been in my life since I was 3 and this year I’ve finally started calling him Dad instead of just his name.
How I Look At The World
The world is simultaneously amazing and terrifying at the same time. It’s terrifying because you start getting more scared about pedophiles, kidnappers, murderers, assaults, bigotry, political horrors, OH MY GOD WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS MY CHILD GOING TO GROW UP IN??! But then you also see kindness, people holding doors, offering to help, smiling and making silly faces just to see a kid smile. You see people fighting for good things in the world and it brings you hope that those scary things might be a distant memory when your child grows up. Before I had my daughter I let myself be blind to a lot of what went on around me, but I can’t afford to be blind anymore, I can’t afford to be complacent, not when I can raise her to be one of the good, kind people in the world.
My daughter has made me see a world of endless possibilities. How do your kids make you see the world? How much have you changed as a person since becoming a parent? What do you love about being a mom?
About the Author
Michelle is a stay-at-home mom with ambitions of grandeur. She spends her time hanging out with her toddler and husband, writing, illustrating, and being a geek. She blogs about parenting, crafts, and geek stuff.