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Visitation Rights

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Have you ever moved away from your family and friends? Have you went back to visit?

It is hard to imagine what I am saying unless you have lived it, but it’s very frustrating and I need to write it out to deal with my frustration.

Let me say this, I don’t expect people to put their lives on hold when I decide to come to visit. I am learning every time I come back, who is really going to make time to see me or how many places I will literally have to drive to in order to get some of my friends to see me.

Never did I think that I would have had some of the responses that I have had from me moving away, especially from people who have been in similar situations. Although I know people are not like me, but I just thought I was held to a higher standard than some have treated me. But then again, once I had my daughter, that all changed as well. So I am not sure why I am still surprised about this.

I guess surprised is not the right word; disappointed is probably the best word I can think of without cursing. Frustrating is another word, that I can use without cursing.

As if flying across the country with a toddler isn’t enough.

Every time I come back to visit I have to lower my expectations.  I cant assume that people will make time to see me. I can’t assume that I will be able to fit it in all in one time and be able to do all the things I want to do, in a short time. I need to just accept it is what it is and make my choices from there.

But why does it need to be like that?

Am I not important or good enough now that I don’t live on the east coast and won’t probably for a very long time?

Disappointing.

Frustrating.

Annoying.

Let it go Jen, Let it go.

 

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TWL Working Mom

Jennifer is the Owner of TWL Working Moms and Co-Owner of Influential Mamas.  Along with blogging + freelance writing, she is a mom, army wife and full-time teacher. Jennifer lives in Washington State and is a born + raised New Yorker. In her spare time, she loves traveling, yoga, the beach, writing, listening to books and drinking coffee.

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8 Comments

  1. Your post really resonates with me. People simply don’t make time for each other. I know it’s true in my own life, and, I acknowledge that I am as much an offender in the situation as my friends. I am going to strive to do better on *my* end; my friends will have to make their own choices. I do hope you get to re-connect with some of your friends; it’s part of what makes going home so special. 🙂

    1. It’s so frustrating. I mean I’ll end up seeing them it’s just the process that’s so annoying and disappointing. You go all this way and get nothing in return. Kind of depleting.

  2. Unfortunately, I’ve learned to travel not for others but for myself. I’ve been teaching at international schools for 8 years and after the first two years of returning to the U.S. and expecting just as much joy and love as I felt about seeing friends and not receiving it, I realized that I could no longer travel for friends. So I make it about me and if I see people, great. If not, great. I feel you so much on this post. Leave expectations behind and life is soooo much easier.

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