Your Heart Doesn’t Divide, It Multiplies
I remember vividly being pregnant with my second son and although he was desperately wanted, I remember worrying that I wouldn’t be able to love him as much as my first. There was this little bit of me that worried I had a finite amount of love. That they would have to share my love 50:50. This made me feel awful, it meant my first son would feel less loved and my second son would never know the true capacity of my love.
Except when it came to it, I found out it doesn’t divide, it multiples. Now four children in, my heart went from having a capacity of 100% to 400%. That means I love all four of my children the same. It is an amazing feeling. I found that having my heart and love multiply for my children has given me a greater ability to care for others too. It has made me a better person and having children is the greatest lesson in how to put others first.
It Gives You Super Powers
I am generally not the best at staying calm in an emergency situation, or at least I never used to be. I have four boys and there have been lots of emergency situations from broken legs, to head wounds. I can not deal with blood, poop or vomit, unless it belongs to one of my kids. That’s kind of a super power, right?
My ability to stay calm is something which has definitely developed since having children. When my son split his head open, there was so much blood. Instead of panicking, I felt a calmness and a clarity come over me. I knew exactly what I had to do. Stop the blood flow and put pressure on the wound. Check how big the wound was and get medical help. I was able to do this and the paramedic said my quick thinking had helped him to not lose too much blood. I don’t think I would have reacted this way had I not been his Mum.
It Always Shows Up When You Need It
Ever have those days when you think if Motherhood was a regular job, you’d be handing in your two weeks notice? I do. More often than I would care to admit. I get too snappy, short tempered and overall not a very nice Mama. Just when you hit breaking point and you think you can’t go on anymore. He jumps up on my lap and burrows his head into my armpit and right there and then I am flooded with the love I need to see me through.
You know how after a long day when you have been counting down to bedtime and they are finally asleep and you look at them all peaceful. For a moment you want to wake them up and tell them one last time how much you love them. Your patience gets depleted but your love is always there to save the day.
It Gives You Strength You Never Knew You Had
Since having children there has been one thing that has shocked me. How my love for them often finds me doing things I wouldn’t normally dream of doing. I don’t just mean having my face painted at a kids party or dancing along as the Minions sing ‘Happy’. For me it has been more about how I have stepped out of my comfort zone and asserted myself. Having children with additional needs means I have had to find the strength to fight for them and to be their advocate.
This has meant, getting past my fear of not being liked or coming across as rude or pushy or sometimes even worse, a neurotic mother. Making sure my boys get the help and support they needs means going way out of my comfort zone and has meant being that Mum that keeps on knocking on that door till someone answers. I would never do this for myself, but for my boys I would do it a million times over.
In The End
Motherhood has taught me so much about love. Giving me a greater understanding of the complexities of it. It has made me understand so much about myself too. I am thankful for all the lessons I have learnt and I hope as I keep growing through my Motherhood, as my children become teenager and adults, that I will continue to lead love lead and guide me.
Is there anything that you feel Motherhood has taught you about Motherhood? Or anything you feel you learnt about love from your own relationship with your parents/carers? I would love to continue the conversation on Twitter or Instagram.
Much love and many Thanks
About the Author
I am Cherie, I am a stay at home 32 year old Mother of Four boys. We live in Birmingham in the UK. I blog over at http://www.mymamamusings.com and I blog about life with four children. I write about Autism, Speech delay and developmental delay as well as trying to learn to be more minimal and grow as a Mother and a Person. I am on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram all under the name @mymamamusings.