Self-love, self-respect, and self-confidence affect the quality of life more than we can imagine. Firstly, it is difficult to rejoice in victories when you think that they are worthless. Secondly, it is challenging to communicate with people if you are constantly afraid to open up, show yourself, or fall under a manipulator’s influence. Thirdly, it is almost impossible to start something new when even the thought of criticism scares you.
There can be no full, deep, and abundant life in such a sad state because there is no foundation for it. You do not accept yourself. Meanwhile, you can receive compliments without joking, be confident in looking for a date on the Dating Reviewer, and speak directly about your feelings without fear of being ridiculed. To do this, it is enough to know that you are worthy of it and to be confident in your worth. It is the meaning of self-love.
How to get a sense of self-love? Psychologists give some advice to people who want to overcome insecurity, learn to love themselves, and increase self-love. If you want to know how you can overcome this key obstacle on the way to a happy and prosperous reality and start loving yourself at last, then these self-love tips are for you.
Determine What’s Hidden Behind Your Self-doubt
It’s hard to develop, get better, strive, and dream when you’re not good enough. And what if you imagine for a moment that you have high self-love and are ready to change your life? How do you feel about the possibilities?
Very often, at such a moment, you may experience discomfort because nothing stops you from trying. And the result can be both victory and defeat. In this case, low self-love is a defensive reaction to fear of rejection in a relationship.
By underestimating our own merits, we allow ourselves not to try. “I am ugly; who will love me like that?” “I will definitely not be hired without knowledge of German.” You can leave everything as it is because you have already come up with “objective” circumstances that will not allow you to get what you want.
Find The Roots Of Self-doubt
If in childhood your parents have often told you that they expected more or that “Neighbor’s son John is so smart, and you can’t even wash the dishes normally,” then most likely you are used to thinking badly of yourself. Now you are an adult, but you still react painfully if friends or acquaintances point out your shortcomings. But there are no people who consist exclusively of merits.
How to develop self-love? Accept the simple fact – everyone has flaws. And you can live with them, especially if you stop blaming yourself for imperfections. To build self-love, it’s essential to start respecting yourself.
Do What You Love
Positive emotions are essential components of self-love because when you are happy with your life, you are satisfied with yourself. Sign up for online courses, go dancing, swim, ride a bike, take a bubble bath in the evening. Do you like cheesecakes? Prepare them for breakfast.
Find hobbies that delight you and take every opportunity to fill your life with pleasure and learn new skills.
Praise Yourself More
We usually feel ashamed for mistakes, but this practice rarely brings positive results. Better to change strategy and start praising victories, even the smallest ones. Let’s say you are always late for work, and today you came on time. Say to yourself: “I am great, I am responsible and disciplined, I am a good employee,” and tomorrow you will not want to be late.
It should become the rule of your life – no demeaning words addressed to you, only encouragement and praise. It’s impossible to build self-love if you don’t believe in yourself.
Plan Your Life
Write on a piece of paper what you need to do within a week, month, year, or even several years. These can be work or study plans, new hobbies, relationships, and more. And then replace the word “must” with “want”. Will it be possible to do these at all points? Do you have something in your plans that you don’t want but need? Cross out these points – of course, if it is not vital.
Enter the words-helpers into the lexicon: “I want,” “I need it,” “It’s important for me.” Repeat them at every opportunity.
Take care of those plans from which the soul blooms. Follow the list, try to do everything, and be sure to praise yourself for your successes. You will be surprised how much you can achieve by doing what inspires you. And each goal you achieve will give you a real reason to be proud of yourself.
Pretend You Love Yourself
When you’re sad, all you need to do is smile and straighten your back to feel better. The situation with the importance of self-love is the same.
Imagine that you love yourself. Will you continue to engage in self-criticism? Will you let others use you? Would you like to settle for less? Behave like someone who respects your desires – and your self-love will immediately rise.
Focus On Achievements
Each of us has something to strive for, and for each, there are unattainable ideals. But this is not a reason to doubt your achievements. You need to learn to value victories and set an individual level for yourself.
Compare the two approaches: “I have been working out for a whole year, lost 20 lbs, but Alice is still slimmer” and “In a year I’ve lost 20 lbs, I’m great and proud of my willpower.” What words do you think a person with self-love will say?
Believe In What You Do to Develop Self-love
Don’t try to guess what others want. What should be answered? Which things are expected of me? How to make everyone happy? Listen to yourself and understand how you want to answer and how you feel about it.
Learn To Defend Yourself And Defend Your Borders To Self-Love
Don’t let others neglect or demean you. Draw a personal boundary and make it clear to others that it cannot be violated. But don’t forget that other people have the same boundaries, so learn to respect them without letting them hurt you. If you don’t like what they do to you, tell them about it. Perhaps the person does not realize that his behavior is contrary to your principles or offends you.
Tell people what is important to you, and try to get a response from the interlocutor or partner. Don’t you like it if your friend is late for dates? Do not throw flowers in his face and don’t be silent all evening, but directly explain what offends you. If he continues to be late, consider whether this relationship is worth your self-respect. Remember that the key to powerful dating is self-love.
Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Your Opinion
It is the most problematic moment because opinions can offend, and you need to be ready for this. Read books on psychology, develop yourself, learn new things, and communicate with different people. Do not be lazy to get to the bottom of the problems. It is always interesting to talk with an informed person; besides, your objections will be well-reasoned.
In conclusion, self-respect and self-love have an interesting side effect – once you learn to have warm feelings for yourself, others will begin to treat you the same way. Try it, and soon you will learn that self-love is the best love.
Therefore, be prepared that, raising self-love, you will receive recognition and respect from others. And remember that there are no right or wrong decisions. Some go in tune with your inner feeling, and others contradict it. Remember, to build self-love is important to believe in yourself.
Do you have any other ideas on growing self-love? Which of the advice above do you like most? Please share your self-love secrets in the comments below.