Mothering can be fun, purposeful, hilarious and draining all in one day.
Yesterday you probably forgot ten things. Your mind might be busy with breakfast, drop off school, work, laundry, appointments, dinner, homework and then you wake up. Even when everyone else is asleep, your mind is still making a list.
That list can cause overwhelm.
The solution is not to be a “perfect mom” and complete everything. Actually, the desire to do everything perfectly can cause additional stress.
Instead try to make life a little easier.
Small habits can do so many things: allow space for breathing, safeguard time, help to structure thoughts and decrease the number of unnecessary choices. Self care doesn’t have to mean spending an hour alone or a costly spa experience. A walk, a quiet moment or setting a boundary are all options. Simply choosing not to do something today is self care.
20 Easy Habits That Help Moms Feel Less Overwhelmed
1. Pick your top three priorities
Having a long list can lead to everything appearing important. Rather than listing 15 things, select the three priorities for the day (such as grocery shopping, homework help and completing a work report). Everything else can be extra. Note these three priorities somewhere (your phone or a sticky note) to give you a realistic and clear starting point.
2. Prepare One Thing the Night Before
Chaos looms the night before. It doesn’t have to be a complicated routine done at night, but just do one thing. Pack school lunches, pack clothes, prep ingredients for breakfast, fill water bottles. Doing just ten minutes of preparation at night will eliminate some of the decision making that occurs in the morning.
3. Stop Treating Everything as Urgent
Not all tasks need to be completed immediately. Unanswered texts, non-urgent emails, dirty dishes or laundry can be deferred. When everything seems urgent, ask yourself, “What will actually happen if I do this tomorrow?” If the answer is “not much,” then go ahead and defer the task.
4. Set a “Good Enough” Standard
Set aside the intangible standard of perfection. Plain food is fine. A lived-in home is fine. Using shortcuts available at the store is fine. “Good enough” is not failure. Often “Good enough” is precisely what a busy family requires in order to remain sane.
5. Use a Five Minute Reset
An hour may not always be required for a reset. During times of stress, try a five minute reset. Put your phone down, sit in a comfortable position, take slow deep breaths, drink some water or stretch your shoulders for five minutes.
Example of a 5 Minute Reset:
- Minute 1: Put down your phone
- Minute 2: Take slow deep breaths
- Minute 3: Drink a glass of water
- Minute 4: Walk or stretch
- Minute 5: Plan the next single action
6. Put Your Phone Away During Important Moments
If your phone is constantly ringing, your brain will be in a constant state of reacting. Try to make small portions of the day phone-free. For example, at breakfast, during family dinners, the first 15 minutes upon waking, and during bedtime with your child.
7. Ask For Specific Help
Requests such as, “I need help around the house” are difficult for family members to respond to. Instead ask more specifically, “Can you cook dinner tonight?” or “Can you fold this laundry while I complete this report?” Asking for specific help is a practical family communication tool and not a sign of inadequacy.
8. Make One Meal easier
Meal planning is mentally taxing. To make dinner easier, have some simple yet universally loved dishes on rotation (tacos on Monday, pasta on Tuesday, etc.). Also use leftovers or have backup dinners in the freezer.
| Day | Easy Dinner Idea |
| Monday | Tacos |
| Tuesday | Pasta & Vegetables |
| Wednesday | Rice Bowl / Grain Bowl |
| Thursday | Sandwiches & Soup |
| Friday | Sheet-Pan Pizza |
9. Create a Small “Reset Zone”
Choose one small area in your home (such as your kitchen counter, your bedside table or your desk) and dedicate five minutes to keeping that one area only clean. Having one small clean area can be grounding when the rest of your home is cluttered.
10. Move your body for 10 minutes
Exercise doesn’t have to be an entire exercise class. Walking around the block for 10 minutes, stretching while your children play or dancing in the kitchen all count as exercise. Exercise can be broken into small, manageable chunks throughout the day.
11. Write down what is occupying space in your head
Carrying the responsibility of remembering appointments, errands and signature requirements is exhausting. Externalize it. Move these items out of your head and into a note, app or calendar. This will allow your brain to stop having to hold onto these items.
12. Give yourself one small thing to look forward to
Do something purely for pleasure in your day. Maybe you read a chapter from a book, or listen to your favourite podcast. Or maybe you just sit in the garden for ten minutes or enjoy a hot coffee in the morning. Try to find a way of self care that fits easily into your current daily routine.
13. Learn to Say “Not Today”
Setting boundaries isn’t being rude. It’s about setting boundaries to the bandwidth that you have. When you’re stretched and a favour, request or invitation comes up that isn’t essential, simply say, “Not today.”
14. Create a Simple Morning Anchor
Set up a simple 3 step anchor for the start of the morning so you begin your day grounded rather than reacting. Examples include drinking water, getting dressed and reviewing your top three priorities for the day.
15. Stop comparing your home to other homes
Social media shows you beautiful, staged houses. It does not show you reality. Instead ask yourself, “Is my home suited to my family at this moment?” This is the standard you should use, not comparing to someone else’s social media.
16. Make chores a family responsibility
This will help prevent mom from burning out and also allow children to learn about responsibility. Allow them to help with age appropriate tasks such as putting away toys, making their bed, loading and unloading the dishwasher, taking out the laundry, or wiping tables.
17. Make a “Do Later” list
A to-do list lists things that need to be done right now. A “Do Later” list lists things that do NOT need to be done right now. Examples include: organizing photo collections, sorting closets, and planning trips.
18. Do your best to protect your sleep
You can’t do anything about all the wake-up calls caused by babies and young children. However, you can do your best to protect the things that you can control. This includes trying not to use your phone late at night, trying to go to bed at the same time every night (if possible), and ensuring that your sleeping environment is comfortable. If you still feel significantly tired after sleeping, talk to a doctor.
19. Treat yourself with one kind thought
Instead of being critical of yourself, treat yourself with kindness. Rather than telling yourself, “I got nothing done today,” try saying, “Today was difficult, but I did my best to accomplish what I could.”
20. Take time at the end of the day to make tomorrow be tomorrow
At the end of the day, take time to look at tomorrow’s appointments and write down things that need to be done right now. Then stop planning. Allow your mind to relax knowing that tomorrow will have its own time and tasks.
Practical Action Steps for Beginners
Start Small – This is the Most Important Rule
Don’t try to do 20 habits all at once. Try two habits this week. For example, pick three priorities and prep one item the night before. Once these become second nature, add another.
A Simple 7-Day Reset for Overwhelmed Moms
If you’re not sure where to begin, try this simple 7-day transition plan:
- Day 1: Pick three priorities. Only list three of your top priorities today.
- Day 2: Prep for tomorrow. Spend 10 minutes prepping one item for the next day’s morning.
- Day 3: Take a five-minute break. Put your phone away and take a quiet five minutes.
- Day 4: Ask for help. Ask one family member to help you do one specific thing.
- Day 5: Make dinner easier. Choose the easiest meal available.
- Day 6: Move for 10 minutes. Just walk, stretch, or dance.
- Day 7: Review your week. Consider what decreased your stress, what you can cease doing, and what habit you would like to continue.
When You Need More Support
What If You Still Feel Overwhelmed?
Small habits can make a big difference in reducing friction in your daily life. However, they can only do so much. If you are feeling overwhelmed by chronic sleep deprivation, relationship problems, financial stress, anxiety, or depression, small habits alone may not be sufficient.
If you’re experiencing stress or exhaustion affecting your everyday life, please consider contacting a trained health or mental health professional. It’s completely normal to seek support. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is realize that it’s okay not to do it all by yourself.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood doesn’t have to be totally structured.
There will be messy days. Some plans will fall apart. Some meals will be basic. Some tasks can be delayed. And sometimes you will just get through the day. That’s okay. You don’t have to eliminate all the stress from motherhood. Instead, you can build habits that provide you with more room, decrease the number of difficult choices and help reaffirm that you also have needs.
You don’t have to do it all at once. Choose one or two of the 20 Easy Habits That Help Moms Feel Less Overwhelmed and give them a try this week. Then choose only those that actually help to make your life less overwhelming.
