Daily I find myself thirsty for knowledge around all aspects of my life. I truly enjoy what motherhood brings to the table. Our lives are always changing. I mean, Every. Single. Day. This allows for me to learn at the same rate. I have done everything I can do to insert myself into lives of other mom’s not only to have mom friends, but to learn from them. I can’t help but find something glorious about every mom I have ever met even if I know we are never going to be close friends.
Reclaiming who you are after motherhood is a challenge we all face. I personally have 3 children all currently ages 3 and under. I think weekly I find myself evaluating the pursuit of the person I am with children. There is no doubt in my mind I am a better person daily because of my kids. Truth is life got a lot scarier once I had my first. Spinning the tires in the snow under my truck no longer feels like a thrilling to do. Now, my thrilling to dos consist of bringing everything to daycare and school that was asked for the next day, washing my counter tops after dinner, and getting the courage to make a playdate with a mom I barely know.
Mom values and missions:
- Personal time – we all need something to cling to. Have you found something that is yours? I personally enjoy my time in the morning to work out. Everyone in the house is still sleeping. I am exhausted at the beginning and I can conquer my world at the end. I can pick my children up, heck I can pick all three of my children at once! I can work hard and play harder because of this time I take for myself. I also enjoy 1-2 days a week getting ready. Putting on my makeup, doing my hair and feeling pretty. Are you doing something for yourself? Because you need this to survive!
- Friend time (usually a playdate) – are you making other mom friends? We all have those friends that are not moms yet or may never be moms. I found for myself I no longer could have the best friend without children. She just could not grasp everything I was going through. Find a resource in your community to meet other moms.
- Community (giving back) – are you creating time to give your time back to the community? I personally made the choice for heavy community involvement for a while, until I realized I couldn’t remember why I was doing everything I was doing. I decided to sit down and think about what really mattered to me. Right now, I enjoy mom’s and having a network of women with different ideas, creativity and focus on my side. I enjoy supporting people that want to help others and are not focused only on how to make out better for themselves. I removed a bunch from my plate and now put my all into my church and a non-profit mom’s group I belong to.
- Family time – are you tuned in to your time together? This one is hard for me. I am always on the go, so is my son! On the go with play. I can always think of something that needs to get done around the house. I am trying my best to focus on what is in front of me and making “mom”ories. I believe this inability to focus for me stems from not being able to remember my parents really sitting down with me to play. Here’s the thing I still don’t see this as a bad thing. I enjoyed doing chores with my parents. I enjoyed doing what my parents were doing. I am still trying to wrap my mind around why I cannot make this happen for my own children yet.
- Time with each little, individually – are you feeding your children individually with mom time? I have scheduled Early Childhood Family Education classes weekly for each of children. This is something I can pull the children from daycare to do. Play out of the house away from to-do distractions and just individual time. This is so great because we can learn and grow together.
- Faith – I know not everyone is a church-goer. Here’s what I should say, even if you do not believe in god there are churches out there that just have good well-meaning word. Maybe take it as a motivational speech or a network of support to be a better person. Are you feeding yourself with the good word? We attend a church that has a heavy focus on loving on children of all ages. I enjoy a morning sip of coffee on Sundays away from my children with the good word preached to myself in an adult way. While my children are taught great things by amazing people on their own level.
- Time for relationship nurturing – This can be the most challenging, but needed value for some moms. Are you asking your spouse for what you want? Are you being reminded of why you’re in love daily, weekly, monthly? I find myself lost in where that carefree, silly, and slightly crazy girl who just loved life went. I know I need to remind myself of the giggly love we found in each other before we had children. We really try to take our moments when they come. Being dedicated to that walk in the door kiss, that one hour date night once a month, or that simple touch as you pass one another can make a relationship feel fuller. Do not forget one another, because after the children are all grown up he or she is all you will have.
You may find that our mission and values do not exactly match as mother’s, but take what you can from this. I find that’s what make me the mother I am. I take from that mom, this mom, the mom around the corner, and so forth. All these things I learn from other’s makes me Dear Mom Working. Embrace what you have and grow from there.
<3 Dear Mom Working.