28 Days of Mom Love

Holding onto Hope: My Struggle of Becoming a Mom

This is my story on how I used Hope and the power of positive thinking to achieve my dream.  Have you ever wanted something so bad that you literally thought about it nonstop? You would think about it when you went to sleep and it was still on your mind when you woke up in the morning. This could be that one thing that your heart truly desires.  It could be a goal, dream, or achievement that you want for your life. It could be a change in your life that you desire. It could be anything. For me this dream was to have a baby.

A little secret about myself

A long time ago (at least it feels that way) I decided that I wanted to have a baby. I was married but we had not started a family as of yet. Without going into too much detail about it all, I was having some fertility issues stemming from a small tumor on my pituitary gland which was causing havoc on my reproductive system.  After 3 years of no luck I was getting hopeless. I put it in God’s hands at this point. If I was supposed to have a child then it would happen at the right time.

The thing is, I knew that I would have a baby at some point. I just knew. So I decided to take it upon myself to help it happen faster. I started to prepare for a baby as if I was already pregnant. I bought baby clothes, diapers, wipes and everything under the sun that you could need for a baby. I even put a crib on layaway. When the lady at the store asked when the baby was due I just casually told her that I wasn’t even pregnant yet and that I just like to be prepared.  She looked at me like I had said something  ridiculous.  Ok, I guess it was ridiculous but at the time I was on a mission.  It was kind of entertaining to see people’s expressions when I told them what I was doing.

I have always been organized and liked to plan ahead but this was short of being silly. Plus I’m not the kind of person that takes no for an answer, especially something that I wanted so badly.  I was going to make this work and nobody could stop me once I had the intention set in my head.  I still remember my husband looking at me funny as I hauled in loads of baby toys, bottles and receiving blankets and carefully organized a closet to contain my future baby’s stuff in our extra bedroom that would be made into our nursery.  He was used to my weird personality traits and ideas by this point and didn’t even give it a second thought. I’m actually not sure if even he believed as strongly as I did that this would work.

 

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How does having hope play a part in this?

It is called The Law of Attraction which is most commonly known as the idea that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life.  For example, I could sit in my bedroom and cry myself to sleep every night that I wasn’t getting pregnant or I could envision it already being true or happening soon and actually feel the joy and happiness that I would feel as if it had already happened. Having faith and trusting in God that it will happen if and when it was the right time.  I took it upon myself to only focus on the positive and to leave out all the negative thoughts about not getting pregnant out of the situation. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly had my share of sleepless nights and bouts of depression about it before all of this positive energy was put into it. I just simply woke up one day and decided that this way of thinking was certainly not helping me along nor did I want to live in the negative and would rather enjoy the positive so I did just that.  I also had to tell myself that if it was not in God’s plan for me to have a baby then let it be so and help me to be ok with this plan.  Either way I wanted to be happy about the outcome.

It wasn’t always easy…

Let me tell you that it was harder to deal with everybody else’s negative comments about it then to deal with the patience of waiting and waiting for it to happen. When people saw what I was doing they would ask, “but what if it doesn’t happen?” or “what are you going to do with all of that stuff if you don’t get pregnant?” I even had one person suggest where to donate it if I didn’t end up needing it.  Really people? Have a little Faith please.

Fast forward a little bit..

I  ended up needing fertility meds for a few months and had only one more shot at them because they were causing other problems with my body.  I was on my last dose of Clomid and was told that we would have to try InVitro if this last round did not work.  My husband and I had previously decided not to go with InVitro if this did not work.  So I was praying that this would work.

One day as I was talking to my parents at their house, I noticed I was feeling a little on the negative side that it was taking so long.  Maybe I was letting everybody’s comments break me. I wasn’t sure but I didn’t like it. I just sat at my parent’s kitchen table and talked to them about it for awhile with a broken heart.  It was then that I suddenly felt a sense of peace and looked up at my parents just as a huge ray of sunlight shone through the window and radiated light onto my face.  My Mom’s face was priceless. I still remember how her mouth was slightly open as she mouthed the words, “Wow!”  All of a sudden that negative feeling that I had felt only moments ago had all but vanished and was replaced by a new sense of peace and knowing that I had already achieved the dream I had been planning for years now.  My mission had already been accomplished and I had no way of actually proving this except for this “gut feeling” or intuition.  I ended up getting my confirmation with a positive pregnancy test a week later on my 30th birthday even though I already knew I was.

From what I have learned about Hope..

You can either focus on all the things that you don’t particularly like about your life and dwell on this everyday which only brings more negative energy to your life or you can focus on the blessings and good things that you want to see more of in your life. Anything that you give attention to grows just like a flower or a tree. You give it love and you will see it thrive.  Give those dreams of yours love and watch them thrive like I did. And life will continue to bless you….

 

 

Ask and It is Given

“When you give attention to something you desire and say yes to it, you are including it in your vibration.  But when you look at something you do not want and say NO to it, you are including it in your vibration. You cannot exclude anything that you are giving your attention to. “

By: Lorena Lucero

Living The Mom Life with Essential Oils

www.whereareyoursocks.com

Link to post: https://whereareyoursocks.com/2018/01/21/holding-on-to-hope/

 

About the Author

 I am a working Mom/Blogger. My passion is organization and saving money. I am also a doTERRA Wellness Advocate and use my Essential Oils for everything in my Mom Life. Let me help you get your Mom Life organized, simplified and healthy with Essential Oils and lots of organizational printables by taking the “Organize My Mom Life” workshop!

 

 


Every day in February, we are celebrating the 28 Days of Mom Love with bloggers across the globe. Make sure to come back and check out our posts every day this month! Click here if you missed one! 

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TWL Working Mom

Jennifer is the Owner of TWL Working Moms and Co-Owner of Influential Mamas.  Along with blogging + freelance writing, she is a mom, army wife and full-time teacher. Jennifer lives in Washington State and is a born + raised New Yorker. In her spare time, she loves traveling, yoga, the beach, writing, listening to books and drinking coffee.

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