The first time I met you, you were two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I had no clue who you’d be, but even more so I had no clue who I would be, now that you were in my life. For the nine months, you were inside my womb, I grew more and more enamored with you. I memorized the feeling of your movements, I knew exactly which of your feet pushed up into my rib cage every night as I lay in bed, and every morning as I rode the bus to work. I stared at the ultrasound photo of your profile, and I swore you looked like your Dad – even at 20 weeks new. More than anything, from the day I knew I was pregnant, I knew I loved you more than anything I would ever love in this world.
My love for you is fierce and unchanging, unrelenting, unconditional and protective. If there’s one thing I hope you know, and hold dear to your heart no matter where life takes you, it’s that I love every part of who you are, from the top of your head, down to your jelly bean toes. I loved you when you were in my arms for the first time, eyes wide open, ready to take in this whole new world. I loved you every hour I spent with you asleep in my arms, and I loved you every hour you were awake in the night.
I loved you through every tear – from your eyes and mine. I loved you through every fear, every “what if?”, every “I can’t do this”, and every “I CAN do this!”. Every mistake, every struggle, every unknown – I loved you through it all.
I love the wrinkle in your nose when you smile so big. I love how you’re so inquisitive, so curious and determined like your Dad. And I even love that you have a little bit of me in you too – even if it’s my quick frustration and impatience. I love your gentleness, I love your chubby hands, your two-tooth smile, your blonde hair that I’m still not sure where it came from.
I will love you when you find your independence. When you’d rather be running, jumping and discovering than snuggling up to me. I will love you when you need discipline, and I need to say “no”. I will love you when you’d rather be with your friends, and I’ll love you when you’re embarrassed by me. I’ll love you when you’re sick, and I’ll love you when you’re well. I’ll love you when you’re angry, when you’re confused, frustrated, struggling to find yourself. I’ll love you when you’re unsure, scared, sad. And I’ll love you when you’re full of joy, happiness, laughter, and peace.
I will love you when you move away when you’re on your own when you’re not missing me the way I will miss you. I will love you when you fail when you succeed when you make mistakes, and when you do everything right. I will love you when you get your heartbroken, and I’ll love you when you find love that makes your heart soar. I’ll love you on your wedding day, and when you have a family of your own. I’ll love you, and the husband you’ll be, the father you’ll be.
I loved you before I even knew you, I love you now, every day in between, and every day after this one. I hope with my whole heart that I can teach you to love others the way that you are loved.